'The Motherhood Challenge' or what I like to call 'Women Shitting on Other Women.'
Okay so Peachy Keen might be a bit late to this party as I think all the furore has somewhat died down now but if you've been living under a rock, let me explain the Facebook 'The Motherhood Challenge'. Someone nominates you as a 'great mum' and asks you to post 3 recent pictures that make you happy to be a Mother and then you tag other 'great mums'. Fine. Seems innocent enough right?
Well no, it's just another example of how women like to shit on each other. These are my issues with the challenge.
1) Fundamentally publicly doing something that leaves others out, that certain groups aren't able to take part in, is.... well not very nice. It's playground tactics. "We're going to do skipping today. Oh you didn't bring your rope. You can watch."
2) Things like Valentines Day 'leaves out' a cross section of society, it doesn't matter what gender, race or sexuality you are. The 'Mother Challenge' makes it very clearly a female thing. It's not the 'parent' challenge, it's all woman. The menfolk can just stand back and watch us tear chunks out of each other.
3) I know this is basically what social media is for but it's self indulgent and it is smug. You can post photos of your kids without unashamedly making it about how great a mother you are.
4) We will enjoy these photos, no one is saying you can't post photos on-line or show how much you love your kids on-line. It's not 'political correctness gone mad'. It's just about doing things in a kind manner.
5) Granted, no one is making people feel bad on purpose, but it does. Women, stop making women who have lost babies, who are trying to conceive and who can't have children feel bad. Yes it may be an innocent little post to you but it could ruin your sister, friend or colleague's day.
6) Having said this though, clearly no one's making anyone else feel bad on purpose. Women who have been upset by this don't shit on the mother posting the challenge! You don't know what she went through to have those kids. Don't belittle what she thinks is an innocent Facebook post and insert venom and agendas into it.
7) I have real issue with the word 'challenge'. What is the challenge? Scrolling through your camera roll to find 3 lovely photos of your babes? Or is it a reference to the challenging nature of motherhood?
8) What happens if you are a mother and your friend doesn't tag you? Are you then not a great mum. Oh look just another way for women to shit on other women - a double shitter! Let's offend non-mothers and mothers at the same time.
9) I think it's great mothers are supporting each other but if you want to tell your friend they're a great mum, tell them face to face. This is how normal people communicate. If you just did that to begin with, we wouldn't be in this situation.
10) The measure of a woman is not to be found in whether she has kids or how she parents them. The measure of a woman is how she treats others. Be kind and inclusive and that's really all there is to it.
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