#FRIDAYFIVE - 5 REASONS HAVING SEX STANDING UP IS COMPLETELY IMPRACTICAL

Standing up having sex. Sounds like such fun and an easy, kinky way to spice up your love life. Here's 5 reasons why the fantasy is much better than the reality:

1) You are more likely to be eaten by a shark in Luxembourg than be part of a couple where you are both exactly the right height so that standing up you can neatly slot into one another.  

Locked door

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2) Ditto if you're wanting to partake in a stand and lift maneuver, this involves one person either being super strong or super light, most couples however have a slightly more normal superhero:mouse ratio.

elephant

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3) This then results in an awkward knees bent, on tiptoes, squashed up against a wall scenario where you end up focusing on how much your thigh muscles hurt more than trying to concentrate on the pleasure aspect. It burns, it burns!!

crouching

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3) Willies are not that bendy, orifices hurt when things jam in them at the wrong angle... the fear of breaking things down there somewhat outweighs the delight at the spicing up the love life side of things.

banana

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5) And most importantly it is so freaking difficult to orgasm standing up. There's a reason it's called 'going weak at the knees' you need to wobble and collapse and if you're standing or being held, there's further to fall....

jelly

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So by all means try it, if only for the orgasmic relief at throwing each other onto the comfort of the bed and realising that you're okay never trying that again. ;-PK

Bedroom // bed & linen 1

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Do you agree? Or have you had delightful experiences with standing up sex? 

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23 October, 2015 1 tags (show)

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