Robyn St.George - My promiscuous year

Sex is funny old thing.

By the time my boyfriend and I broke up after 4 years together, our sex life left a lot to be desired. It felt routine, (when it happened at all) and it's decline in fun factor was yet another symptom that our love was not meant to be.
Of course, after we broke up and during the 2 months we had to live together until our notice was served on the flat, we had brilliant sex. This, although good during, is a very bad idea boys and girls. It led to confusion and hurt, which there was enough of going around anyway. My advise would be, NO! *Slaps you in the face*. Be strong and one of you move the hell out.
Anyway, as someone who is pretty awkward and had 2 long term relationships and nothing else, dating and the the idea of having sex with somebody new was pretty terrifying. Do I try chatting to people in bars? Does anyone even do that now? What the hell is Tinder? What if they look at me with my clothes off and laugh?? And so started my single, often ridiculous, journey.
The Drought Breaker
After a 7 month dry spell, I thought, enough! And tried the chatting to person in bar and going home with them approach. The result? My first experience with a wonky willy. And my first ever one night stand, and the 3rd person I'd ever had sex with. My time with with Mr. Bendy was relatively good, but the morning conversation was supremely awkward without booze in our systems. My later experiences would tell me that's pretty standard. We did not get breakfast. I did not go back for the jumper I left because no, Sir. Kinkalot, I did not leave it there on purpose so I could see you again. Nice jumper, that. Shame. 
The Christmas Party
I started a new job that year. I knew I wanted to work at this place because I checked out their people page and one of the guys was well fit. He became known as 'Fit Steve' to my friends and I (we are very imaginative, shut up) and we giggled about him like school girls on a regular basis. This is possibly the worst crush anyone has had in a million years and so at that year's Christmas Party I decided to flirt my socks off and see what happened. Having only been there a short time, unbeknownst to be was the fact that this dude gets super drunk and does silly and regrettable things. One of those things turned out to be me, as after some furious, tequila fueled snogging we ended up at my place, had sex that I can't even remember, and in the morning he went into the wrong bedroom nearly catching my housemate in the nuddy. All that lingered post Christmas were workmate jibes and many months of avoiding eye contact.
The Fetishist
Having first caught the eye of the rugged Welsh Farmer in a pub on Christmas eve, the night ended awkwardly with 3 hugs and a phone number exchange. But oh my, he was handsome. Gorgeous eyes, beardy, chiseled - I proceeded to fantasise about going back to Wales where he would sweep me off my feet and we'd drive off into the sunset on his tractor and make passionate love in front of a fire. SWOON. So, on my next visit home, my friend Katie tried to make this a reality and text him for me. Gorgeousness - check. Tractor was a pick-up - near enough. Fire - check. There was also tequila (you may be noticing a theme here). Then, there was his cupboard of wonders, a collection of toys to make Peachy Keen nod with profound respect. This was, I have to say, very unexpected, but not unappreciated. It was certainly an initiation for me, and damn well a long night I will not forget. A complete one off, trashy novel type, a la 50 Shades kind of thing - oh my indeed.
What I Learnt
Yes, there were also Tinder dates, other one night stands, but these mostly ended as per story one. Judge me if you like, but my promiscuous year was fun, eye opening and actually a big confidence booster. Sure, there are some things that I look back on and cringe, but as someone who was quite self conscious, getting out there, having new conversations, being kissed, and having lots of good (and some quite bad) sex forced me out of my shell. You lot out there - as long as you stay safe and happy - if you want to let loose, get some, get down, experiment in the bedroom - DO IT! Go wild, I say. 
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03 September, 2015 2 tags (show)



pinkgilly15 said:

Absolutely fantastic , and really well written. Keep up the good work and fun nailed it there with staying safe but exploring so great you found your confidence xxxxxx

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