#HeyIt'sOkay ... to have to schedule sex

In fact, sometimes it’s downright necessary.

Bringing up your Google calendars and sending an invite to ‘sexy time’ somewhere between ‘the gym’ and ‘watching Walking Dead’ is not the most romantic foreplay but it is effective. We schedule every other aspect of our life with this or that app so why not sex too?

                                    

Yes we all like to think we’re spontaneous creatures who like to be cooking one second and shagging the next but the reality is if that were to actually happen we’d forget about the chilli we’d just cut and it would sting worse than that time we experimented with ‘warming lube’. No one just sweeps the onion skins and knives onto the floor and takes people on the kitchen counter. Health and safety nightmare! It’s just another myth perpetrated by movies and stupid magazines telling us how to spice up our sex lives… By literally applying spice to our genitals apparently. So figuring out when you’re going to have sex, makes sense!

If you have a long term partner (I’m talking 5+ years) and you manage to have spontaneous, frequent sex then I’d love to know how. Especially if you have children. It’s necessary to book it in. Monday: Work. Tuesday: Out with the girls. Wednesday: Football. Thursday: Nothing? Shall we have sex? Okay, cool. Conditions are perfect. Especially if you sing this song whilst doing it.

 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the same day every week or anything, “I’m sorry, I can’t join your pub quiz team, I have sex on Wednesdays.” and the actual deed isn’t scheduled either. Although that is a GREAT idea! Imagine…

7-7.02: Put lingerie on whilst moaning about the lack of sufficient sexy male underwear.

7.02-7.05: Kissing of the neck and a half-arsed massage.

7.05-7.10: Oral if we can be bothered

7.10-7.15: Penetration time. Go on top, get a bit tired, switch round, also get a bit tired. Go for spooning.

7.15: Climax

7.16: Pyjamas On

If we didn’t figure out when we were going to have sex then months would probably pass and it wouldn’t have crossed our minds. This way, this very unromantic and practical way, means that we get regular sex. What’s wrong with that? It shows us that we are making time for each other, keeping ourselves happy and our relationship healthy.

It may not be the sexiest thing, although it is quite fun knowing that you’re gonna get some tonight, but it works. So Peachy Keen says Hey, it’s okay… to have to schedule sex. Isn't it? What are your thoughts?

Add us on twitter @peachykeenuk @annapeachykeen for more of a lighthearted and honest look at sex.

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06 July, 2015 1 tags (show)

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