#HeyItsOkay … to not have anal sex
I think I was embarrassingly old before I realised that straight couples have anal sex too. The idea didn’t horrify me (Obviously, why should it!?) but it did confuse me a bit. “But that’s not where it goes, is it?” I quickly found out that pages and pages of internet porn and search results says it definitely is where it can go. This realisation then made me wonder if I would ever do anal. I felt like I probably wouldn’t…
So fast forward to 2015, I’m in a straight, monogamous relationship and have been for over a decade. We’ve never had anal. Not even attempted it. Nothing has ever been up my butt and I’m proud! I feel like I’m a dying breed, is it now just the done thing? Don’t get me wrong – it’s great and necessary that we no longer consider anal a big deal but I don’t like the idea that girls and boys (of all sexualities) are growing up thinking the progression goes; finger fun, oral sex, full on sex and then anal, without stopping to think do I actually want to do anal?
Every year or so my partner and I have a conversation and we both say, “I’m not really interested but if you were interested then I probably would.” Well if we both feel like that then let’s not bother! Let’s channel our energy into something that we would both be interested in. I have a lot of friends (Ladies and gents) that say, “You’re so lucky. I wish my partner didn’t want anal.” Umm well then don’t have it as an option if you don’t want to do it!! It’s okay! I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but I want it to be on the record that #FYI it’s okay to do anal and to love it! Of course it is!
Naturally, I have slight #FOMO (Fear of missing out!) when it comes to anal. I understand the science behind it and it makes sense and it might be the most amazing sensation that I’ve been denying myself for years! But and this is a big but (Excuse the pun) I have great sex without it and in my heart of hearts I know that I don’t want it so…. Hey, it’s okay to not have anal sex.