#HeyItsOkay.... To Accept a Compliment
It really is... It's just excruciatingly difficult. Have you ever tried it? You sit there gurning and writhing, willing yourself to just let the compliment stand alone, until you burst, blurting out, "But I still need to lose a few pounds more," or "Maybe it's because I washed it for once!" Everyone laughs and we move on and forget the nice comment ever existed. We are just incapable of hearing something complimentary about our actions or appearance and not play it down.
Maybe it's a cultural thing because it drives my South African friend wild when I do it. She screeches, "No buts... Just take it TAKE IT and enjoy it!" firing compliments at us then gagging us or leaving the room so she doesn't have to hear our bumbling Hugh Grant impressions, "Errr yes thanks... I errr... hope I don't give us all food poisoning." We don't like being the centre of attention or drawing attention to ourselves and our talents.
Maybe it's being British and (for some of us) being female. My mum NEVER took a compliment, so how the hell am I meant to? She flapped and was 'humble' and didn't believe the compliments when they were given so it's learned behaviour - I can totally blame her as always! "Thanks, I know it doesn't match the shoes...." "It's from a packet I'm afraid." Maybe it's a confidence thing and she didn't believe the compliment so that's why she batted it back over the net but there's no reason to believe the person paying the compliment is lying so in the words of Jess Glynne... don't be so hard on yourself.
If a compliment is given genuinely then it's unconditional. There's no need for any response other than a "Thank you." Let it sink in and make you feel good, that's the whole point. Don't bat it away or play it down or make an excuse. Seriously why on earth do we do this? It's not a particularly attractive quality. I know we don't want to sound like a twat or feel like we're being stuck up but enjoying a compliment and saying "Thank you," is very different to saying "I know!"
So try it and I will too. Next time someone pays you a compliment, let it sink in, say "Thank You" and smile. It will feel uncomfortable at first but accepting a compliment is much more polite and respectful to the both of you than brushing it away.
What do you do in this situation? Let us know! @peachykeenuk
Written by @annapeachykeen